you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
