I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
