I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Boobs are out for the taking
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
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