how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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