I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
