"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So squirting runs in the family.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
