Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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