Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
