I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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