Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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