i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Watching her eat just hurts me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
