my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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