i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
