well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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