You're completely useless in the revolution.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize