how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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