Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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