So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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