I heard we made out
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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