TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
