I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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