I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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