im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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