just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
