if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
