i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
