your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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