Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
