my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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