I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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