i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
