so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
