That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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