I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
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John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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