Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
