We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Boobs speak an international language.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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