Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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