the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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