I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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