Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
