Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize