just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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