So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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