Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
