My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
