Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I checked into jail on foursquare
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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