i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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