so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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