Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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