you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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