I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize