S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
