you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
