I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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