I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
