the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
