just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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