Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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