my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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