Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Randomize
